While I’m tempted to say that I don’t have words, the problem is more than I have too many. I’ve tried to think of how to talk to you all about my wedding day, being a bride, and marriage – but I keep writing and rewriting.
All of a sudden, in a few short moments, your whole life is declared as changed. Though there is much leading up to this, there’s no way to express how wild it is that vows, rings, and a kiss before witnesses seals you up as man and wife.
I was at a wedding celebration recently for a couple who got remarried after 4 years divorced. The pastor spoke powerful words about not making marriage the most important thing. Marriage can become a flimsy idol if you value having a “good marriage” over actually loving your spouse. It comes down to loving Jesus and loving each other. As a newlywed, that challenged me to make sure I love Caleb more than I love marriage.
And truly, I love that man. Even when he frustrates me. Even when I feel like I suck. Even when we see things differently. Even when we have a lot to learn. Even when life is really hard.
Believing in marriage, falling in love, and actually getting married was a BIG deal for me. The fact that it happened within the year of my parents’ divorce was even wilder. In that place, my love for marriage as an institution has grown so deep – and yet, I’m drawn back to the fact that Caleb matters more than an institution. Yes, we are participating in an ancient, sacred covenant that billions have before us… and yet, this is also uniquely ours.
And while this wasn’t the post I planned – I talked little of the wedding day or the perspective of details and planning… those things fade. Their importance fades. The memories are cherished and I’m thankful we chose to make our day aesthetically beautiful, but this is what I love more: crawling into bed with Caleb at night. I love the cuddles. I love the prayers we speak over each other. I love knowing my favorite soul in the world is right beside me.
My favorite thing about our wedding day is what it led to – a life with Caleb. A life that is sometimes hard and full of tears (seriously, life has been rough lately!) but at the end of each day is shared. This is what matters.
Thank you to everyone who celebrated with us – near or far. The community love we received was amazing. You all made our day richer!
P.S. If you have questions about my perspective of a wedding photographer, planning details, or marriage – drop a question below and I’ll compile a Q&A post!